Restless Nights
by dark raven06
Summary: COMPLETE! What really happened when Robin was Slade's apprentice? Mature themes, be advised. R
1. A Bad Dream

Summary: What really happened to Robin when he was Slade's apprentice? What could have possibly happened to make Robin burn with white hot rage when Slade's name is mentioned? What did Slade do to become the only person alive that Robin would kill on site?

This takes place after "Haunted," but not with the whole Raven thing. This means Slade hasn't come for Raven yet.

I wanted to write this story because Ron Perlman's voice for Slade, literally, gives me chills. Whenever I hear the line "From now on, I'd like you to call me...master." It FREAKS. ME. OUT! So I thought of a very dark, angsty story of what really happened to Robin when he was Slade's apprentice.

I do not own Teen Titans, don't sue me.

* * *

One rainy day at Titans Tower, Robin, as usual, was sitting in his room, working on "Slade leads." Every day Robin sat in his room for hours on end, trying to figure out what made Slade tick. After Robin's hallucinations, Starfire became even more worried than she already was. It seemed Robin would do anything to stop Slade, even betray his friends by becoming the villain, Red X. 

This particular day, Star decided to try to talk to Robin about Slade. She walked up to the door and knocked. When she didn't hear an answer, she decided to let herself in. She found Robin, asleep on his desk, surrounded by the bits and pieces of Slade memorabilia. It seemed that he was having a very violent dream, so Starfire carried him very carefully onto his bed.

_Is he alright?_ She thought. _He looks so...angry. I wonder what he's dreaming of...

* * *

_

_Robin was standing in front of the telescreens that showed the microbes in his friends' systems. He ground his teeth together in utter fury that Slade would manipulate him like this. _I'm stronger than this, right? _Robin thought_ I fought with the caped crusader himself...but why do I feel so helpless?_ Lost in his thoughts, Slade came up behind him and twisted his right arm behind his back._

_"Do you see those screens? Do you see those microbes? Do you see the pain I can cause them?...The pain I can cause you?" At this last part, Slade wrenched Robin's arm farther back._

_Robin couldn't reply._

_"Answer me!"_

_"Yes..._master._ I see it."_

_"How does it make you feel, Robin?"_

_"I'll ask you again _nicely_. How does it make you feel?"_

_"...angry."_

_"Do you want to hit me?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Do you want to hurt me?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Do you want to..._**kill**_ me?"_

_"...yes."_

_"Just as I thought." Slade said with a smirk. "For being such and _obedient_ little boy, I should reward you."_

_"With what?"_

_At this Slade forced him onto the ground, belly-up, holding onto Robin's arms, and kneeling on his legs. "Have I ever told you how much you remind me of a younger me?"

* * *

_

Robin thrashed out in his dream, "n...no...don't..."

This made Starfire's heart break to see him suffer. She then decided to leave him to (hopefully) sleep in peace. But she couldn't help but wonder, _What is he dreaming about?_

The next day, Robin woke up to Beast Boy, as a rooster, crowing on the roof. _That Beast Boy, I tell ya._ Robin thought. Then his thoughts turned to his very **vivid** dream. He shuddered at the memory. _Every night, I see the same dreams about Slade...Why won't he leave me alone? Why must I suffer like this?_ He then shook his head and changed into a fresh costume and headed downstairs for breakfast.

"Hey Rob, how'd ya sleep?" Cyborg asked from the stove, where he was making bacon.

"Fine, and you?"

"Just GREAT! I had the GREATEST dream last night! I was in Paris with Carmen Electra and-"

"Please," Raven interrupted, "Just...stop there. I can just SEE where this dream ended up."

Cyborg, blushing, said, "oh, alright. BB, Rob, I'll tell you guys later." Cyborg then winked at the guys.

Robin then turned to Starfire, "Hey Star, how'd YOU sleep last night?"

"Fine, Robin...fine," Star visibly had a look of worry on her face. She had stayed up half the night wondering about Robin.

"Are you sure you're o-"

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking though."

"Uuh, you're welcome...I guess.."

"Breakfast is served!" Cyborg said with a grin.

"Is this tofu bacon?" BB asked.

Cyborg just glared and said, "No. It's not. _YOUR_ breakfast is over there," and he pointed at the plate on the counter.

"Thanks dude."

* * *

During breakfast, Robin was lost in his dream again. _Why can't I just forget about that whole ordeal? Why do I have to put up with this?_

After breakfast, the Titans headed for the gym to train. Robin put everything he had into his training. He used his punching bag to release the stress on his mind. As he kicked and punched his frustrations away, the other Titans just stared at him.

"Dude, I've never seen him so intense in training before!" Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg.

"I guess he has something on his mind, you know Robin. If he's upset, he takes it out on his punching bag," Cyborg replied.

"Something...on his mind...?" Starfire repeated under her breath.

* * *

End of Chapter 1. 


	2. Starfire's Worries

Thanks or all the positive feedback! I guess I left a pretty good cliff-hanger!

Just for your guys's information, the dreams are based on something that really happened during his apprentice-ship. Wink wink.

Take care,

Raven

I do not own anything Teen Titans related. Don't sue me.

* * *

_Slade was holding Robin down on the ground, belly up, holding is arms and kneeling on his legs._

_"It's time for your reward, Robin," Slade said with a slightly lustful undertone._

_"Wha-? No, please don't!" Robin pleaded._

_Slade then flipped Robin around, forcing him into a kneeling position. Robin tried fiercely to fight back, but Slade was always one step ahead of him, almost as if Slade had this all..._planned._ Although Robin couldn't see his tormentor, he could hear a zipper unzipping. He knew what was coming, and yelled, "I won't let you do this! NEVER!"_

_"Oh really?" Slade replied sarcastically. He then took out the button that could cause his friend's deaths. "Either you comply to my wishes, or your friends will surely DIE along with you." Robin then had a vision of Starfire, sitting next to him on the ferris wheel at the boardwalk. She was smiling and bubbly, as she always was, very much amused by the fireworks. He then envisioned her dead body in his arms. He couldn't bear to lose her, never. At this, Robin nodded his head slightly, and although he couldn't see it, he knew Slade was smiling._

_"Now that's a good boy, Robin. And TRY to remember that if you try to pull anything, I can, and WILL destroy your friends, **and you.**"_

_Robin could only nod. He couldn't believe what was going to happen.

* * *

_

"NO!" Robin screamed, as he bolted straight up from his bed, drenched in a cold sweat. "no...Please just let me forget it...just forget that fateful night..."

Then there was a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" Robin asked.

"It is me, Starfire. Can I come in?"

"Sure, just a minute though.." Robin said as he pulled on some pants, since he slept in his underwear, and went to the door barechested.

"Come on in, Star," He said, stepping aside so she could walk in, slightly blushing at his bare chest.

"Thank you Robin. I came to discuss something with you..."

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"NO! Nothing is wrong with _me_, what I wanted to talk about was...you."

"What are you getting at, Star?"

"You haven't been sleeping well. Please don't tell me your infected by the Bullroknoo Virus! This virus attacks ones dreams and eventually eats the victim from the inside, out!"

"NO, no, it's not a virus, I've just been having some nightmares, that's all."

"What are these 'nightmares?'"

"They're just bad dreams, nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure? They seem to be troubling you. I've also noticed that these _nightmares_ have started after you were Slade's apprentice... Do your nightmares have something to do with Slade?"

Robin just stared at the floor his forehead knotted with anger, frustration, and memory.

"Robin? Just WHAT happened to you when you were Slade's apprentice?"

Robin just glared at Starfire. She could see the white fury in his eyes, a fury that could kill.

"I **don't** want to talk about it Star."

"Are you su-"

"I'm sure," Robin interrupted.

"Ok...I won't force you to tell me if you're not ready. I'm worried about you, that's all."

Robin's face changed from fury to the kind smile that Starfire loved.

"You don't have to worry Star. I'm ok. I'm just dealing with..._personal demons_. That's all... and No, not the same kind of demons as Raven has."

"Ok. Just let me know when you want to talk, alright?"

"Ok Star, I'll do that."

Starfire then left Robin's room.

_She's so sweet to be worried about me_ Robin thought. _I wish I could tell her, but she'll just freak out. I just don't want her to be burdened by me..._ Robin then looked at the clock and realized that he was already late for breakfast, so he pulled on the rest of his uniform and went downstairs.

* * *

As soon as Robin walked into the great room, he could tell that Star had told the others about her worries. When the other Titans caught sight of him, they fell silent and replaced their happy, smiling faces with somber, sympathetic ones.

"Hey man, you ok?" Cyborg asked, a skillet-full of bacon in hand.

"Yeah, you don't look so hot," Beast Boy stated with a plate of meat-free eggs and bacon in his own hands.

Raven knew better than to be a pity party, so she was silent as she read her book. Starfire just stared at her plate of eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns.

"I'm fine guys!" Robin said with a smile, "It's just a few nightmares, that's all."

"Dreams can mean a lot. Trust me, I know," Raven said glancing up from her book.

"It's fine!" Robin said with a shake of a hand, "Let's just finish up our breakfast and then go to training."

The others couldn't help but agree. Now Starfire wasn't the only one worried about the boy wonder.

* * *

At training, Robin was working his punching bag even worse than the day before. _Stupid Slade...Stupid apprentice...Stupid everything_ Robin thought as he punched and kicked his frustrations away. _Must...forget...Must...fight back._ At this, the punching bag became Slade. Robin's eyes grew wider in fury and started beating the bag up harder than before. _Slade! You Bastard! After everything you did to me, you can just stand there, smirking at me? How can you sleep at night! I'm going to kill you!_

The other Titans could only watch in sheer terror. They had NEVER seen him THAT angry before.

"DUUUUDE!" Beast Boy said. At this, Raven elbowed him and gave him a look that said, "You idiot."

Starfire took a cautious step forward and said, "R..Robin?"

Robin couldn't hear her, he was dead-focused on killing Slade, then and there.

"Robin? Please...you're scaring me.."

He couldn't hear her getting closer. Starfire gingerly reached out to touch his left shoulder. "Please Robin, stop. You're losing control...Please.."

At the second her finger touched his left shoulder, he swung around and gave her such a hard right-hand uppercut that she went flying across the gym. Robin then woke up from his trance and screamed, "STARFIRE! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't meant to-" He couldn't finish his sentence as Starfire flew out of the gym, cheek in hands and tears streaming down her face.

He looked hopelessly at his friends. They all had looks of horror on their faces, except Raven gave him a _How could you?_ look before running after Starfire.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were headed out the door when Cyborg turned back and said, "Dude, this time you took it too far."

* * *

Robin was still speechless as the door to the gym closed, leaving him alone inside.

End Chapter 2.

I hope you like THIS cliffhanger! Mua-ha-haa!


	3. Thanks

Happy 4th of July for those American readers! Happy Birthday USA!

Anywho... I appreciate all the wonderful comments! This one of my most rapidly commented-on works, next to _Sacrifice._ I've thought about doing another fanfic of when someone dies, but it would be too alike to _Sacrifice._

For now, I'll focus on _Restless Nights_.

Enjoy the angst!

* * *

Starfire was weeping in her room, her hand still clutching her right cheek, when she heard a knock at the door.

"W-Who is it?"

"It's me," Raven replied, "Can we talk?"

"Yes.."

Raven walked into Starfire's bedroom and sat on the bed next to her Tamaranean friend.

"How are you feeling?" Raven asked, concerned.

"I feel...bad. It was as if he didn't even hear or see me..."

"If I know Robin as well as I think I do, he tends to keep his feelings bottled up until the bottle explodes. If you get what I mean.."

"I would NEVER wish Robin to explode! Even if he did... hit me.."

Raven smacked her forehead.

"Robin is NOT going to explode... Let's put it this way, he doesn't like to share his feelings."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's afraid of being rejected. He might think we'll reject him if we find out the truth."

"I don't understand. Robin's always been so kind to me... Why...Why would he hit me?"

"He might not've realized you were there."

"Could he have thought I was someone else?"

"It's possible."

"What is it?"

"Could he have thought I was...Slade?"

* * *

Robin stood in the gym alone, mentally kicking himself._ How could I have done such a thing? I could never hurt Star!...This has gone too far...But what can I do about it? It's not as if I can forget it. Slade..he...God! I can't think of anything I would like more than to kill Slade with my own two hands!_

Robin then thought of something Slade had said to him.

"Maybe we're more alike than you think, Robin..."

Robin's eyes popped open wide as he fell to his knees on the floor. The Boy Wonder then started to pound the floor with punches. He kept pounding and pounding until his knuckles were streaming with blood. Robin looked at his blood-stained hands. _What have I become?

* * *

_

As Robin re-lived his memories via his nightmares, Robin could still feel Slade entering him again and again. The pain he felt was all too real for him. He could feel his hair being pulled back, thus forcing Robin to see his assailant. It felt like an eternity. The pain in his backside, the tearing of his scalp as Slade kept pulling his hair, the gleam in Slade's eye, the grunts and groans seemed to forever replay themselves in his mind.

_"Did you like it?" Slade said with a sly undertone as he let go of Robin, letting him fall to the floor._

_Robin could only stare at the floor, sweat dripping down his face, panting._

_"I thought so." Slade said as he got up and zipped his fly. "You were a very good apprentice."_

_Slade grabbed a tuft of Robin's hair and wrenched it back, forcing the Boy Wonder to look at him._

_"I hope you have the peace of mind that your _friends_ are now safe for the night..."_

_Robin could only glare at his enemy._

_"Let's do this again sometime, shall we?" Slade said as he let go of Robin's hair and walked calmly out of the room._

_Robin lay face-down on the floor, numb to the world. He could feel the cuts and bruises from the scuffle before the act, and blood running down between his legs. He then looked over at the telescreens. He looked carefully at each of them... Beast Boy...Cyborg...Raven...and last, but definately not least, Starfire. He envisioned Starfire's smiling face. Her red hair blowing in the wind, her strange taste in food. This last thought made him make a hint of a smile. _I hope you never have to learn of this, Starfire. I can't lose you...I can't._ He thought as he, almost purposefully, lost consciousness. He just felt numb, unable to ever know any other feeling other than the emptiness that he currently felt. He just blocked every thought from his mind as he closed his eyes.

* * *

_

Robin bolted upright, cold sweat running down his face. Robin felt the numbness again. He didn't want to remember, but he couldn't forget either. He could still hear Slade's cocky voice in his ears as he clapped his hands over them. If only he could block it all out, if only he could crawl in to a little ball and disappear. He wrenched his eyes closed, still clutching his ears, and he curled up into a ball on his bed. Then he just let the tears come. Robin sobbed his poor little heart out, letting all the weight on his shoulders fall free.

Starfire was walking past his room when she heard his sobs. She opened the door without even asking and flung herself on top of Robin. She just held him the best she could and cried with him.

As soon as Robin had sobbed his fill, he only then noticed that Star was holding him.

"Starfire?"

Starfire looked up at him, tears in her eyes, with the bruise on her right cheek. She didn't say a word.

"...thanks," Robin whispered as they both fell asleep, with both of their arms entwined in sleep.

* * *

End Chapter 3.

This story is turning out shorter than I expected. I don't want to drag it out either. It would just make it boring, and not pleasant to read. Don't worry! There's still one more chapter to this story, so as the Scots say, "dinna fash." Heh heh. I've been reading too many books by Diana Gabaldon...


	4. End

Sorry for the long wait! I got back from being a foreign exchange student a few months ago, and I started work, and now school has started, and PHEW!

I'm so glad that I've gotten so many good reviews! It really makes me feel good! Keep them going!

I don't own Teen Titans, don't sue me.

* * *

The next day, Starfire and Robin emerged from Robin's room, holding hands and smiling. The other Titans wondered what really happened last night.

"Uuh…Good morning?" Raven said.

"Ok, let's cut to the chase! What happened in there last night? 'Cuz if anything happened, we have a right to know because we're your friends-" Beast Boy rambled until Robin cut him off.

"Don't worry, Beast Boy, nothing happened. As you may have noticed, I haven't been sleeping well lately, and the 'incident' in the gym with Starfire…What I'm trying to say is that I need to explain."

Robin and Starfire led the other three Titans to the couch and Robin told the whole story, from beginning to end. All the while, Starfire was holding his hand and giving him moral support for the tough parts.

The other titans were speechless.

Raven admitted, "When I entered your mind, I saw a glimpse of this, but I never could have imagined…"

"It's alright. Now you can understand why I am so spastic about Slade. I can only imagine what he did to Terra…"

"Terra!" Beast boy stood up. "Do you think Slade could have…"

"I don't know, Beast Boy." Robin calmly explained. "We will never know until we can free her."

"'Cuz if Slade did something to her, I-"

"Friend Beast Boy. I'm sure that Robin will agree with me by me saying that we shouldn't worry about 'what could have' happened. The fact at hand is that we need to catch Slade and make sure the he stays 'behind-bars,' permanently," Starfire reassured.

The five friends vowed to each other that they won't rest until Slade was captured and punished for what they did to their friend, and promised that they would support Robin as he overcame these personal demons.

* * *

End.

I hope you enjoyed this! I'll try to start another story soon.

Raven


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